just finished Level 2 or Internal Family Systems Therapy Training with the topic of Compassionate Approaches to Addictive Processes and Eating Disorders. The lead trainer was Cece Sykes and Anna Gartshore assisted her. 

To do IFS training is almost an insight practice to try to understand how we humans function. 

We all have polarities inside of us, that may affect our day-to-day functioning. 

For example, the manager parts of us make sure we are good and reliable, whereas the firefighter parts make sure life isn’t too serious, we have some fun, and a way to get out of shame. We all have them, but when we are dealing with addictions and eating disorders, we are dealing with more extreme firefighters and also more extreme managers. The managers in the system berate and criticize the person for using or restricting, which brings up shame. The shame is so intense that the parts of us that are using want to douse the flames of the shame and start using again. 

So in other words, the more we criticize ourselves, the more shame gets stirred up from our suppressed exiled parts, and then we use more, because it is too painful to be in that state of not feeling good enough, feeling like a failure. The firefighters help us forget by making us feel good or at least numb for the moment. They don’t think of the future: they just want to make us feel good right now. 

When we work with classical Cognitive Behaviour Therapy approaches, which are what most of the treatment centres are based on, we basically demonize the firefighters and strengthen the managers in the system. To be more controlling may work for the short term, but eventually, the firefighters, that don’t feel appreciated, will retaliate. After all they exist in everyone to have a bit of fun. 

Cece Sykes says: 

Firefighters aren’t the problem and Managers aren’t the solution. 

We need to understand the whole system and have Managers and Firefighters get to know each other. The managers can learn that the firefighters have good intentions and vice versa. In the case of the critics, that they don’t want you to use, because they don’t want you to ruin your life. iWith regards to the users in your system, they want to distract from shame and have some relief from harsh criticism. We also need to unblend from all parts in order to feel the wisdom and clarity of Self come through. 

Here is an image of Cece Sykes’s addiction triangle. She calls the Managers “Blame”, the firefighters “Flame”, and the Exiles “Shame.”

On the right go your firefighters: substance users, ragers, bingers, numb-ers, scrollers, etc. 

On the bottom goes shame, guilt, limiting beliefs: I am not good enough, there’s something wrong with me, I am too much, etc. 

I hope this is helpful. 

Please contact me if you are hoping to explore and unblend from your system to be more truly your Self.