Maya Sloan Psychotherapy
If you decided to do therapy, what would you like to get out of it?
Take a moment to feel into it.
In what way do you want to feel more alive, more grounded, more in touch with who you truly are?
What protective parts of you are shutting you down?
What in your relationships feels unsatisfying?
I'm a therapist trained in somatic work, Internal Family Systems, and RLT couples therapy, and I'm skilled at witnessing your pain and your protection with appreciation. I help you get to know your self-critical parts — so you can meet yourself with more curiosity, and less judgment.
I'm not so interested in talking about problems. I'm more interested in helping you feel embodied in whatever it is you sense is blocking you — tuning into your grief, your resentments, your longings, what's missing. Instead of talking about something, we process it by feeling into it, together, in the present moment. We can explore this individually, in couples or relationship therapy.
I also offer support for those exploring psychedelic experiences, including preparation, integration, and harm reduction.
If any of this intrigues you, get in touch with me.
Therapy Modalities
IFs Therapy
In IFS therapy we get to know our system. Some of our parts hold shame from the past. Some protect us. None of them are bad, but it takes time to accept all of us, since we have inner critics and 'should' parts.
RLT Couples Therapy
In couples therapy we get to understand how and why we relate to our partner the way we are. When we have insight into that, it is possible to change that. I use RLT (Relational Life Therapy) as my modality with couples.
Available in person in Victoria BC and online.
My Approach
My approach is non-pathologizing. We develop protective patterns in childhood to survive. They were necessary to receive attention and conditional love. These patterns were adaptive in childhood, but in adulthood they do not serve us anymore. When we get curious about our inner parts that, for example, are anxious or shut down, we understand their good intentions. They work hard for us. Therefore, they crave our appreciation and curiosity. When parts feel listened to and attended to, they can relax back. They then no longer have to amp up their intensity because we try to get rid of them. Then they can relax back. Also these patterns are shielding us from our vulnerabilities, from our exiled parts that didn't get valued.
I also like to focus on your longings. We all somewhere want to be more connected, and free of problems to fixate on. We want to be radiant and worthy, which we fundamentally are, we somewhere along the way have forgotten that.
When I work with couples or other relationships, I check on the relationships dynamics that close us off from a loving connection. I love Terry Real's relationship grid, that places each individual in a relationship 'on a bad day' on axes of boundaries and self esteem: we tend to go either one up or one down in a fight, and we either go behind a wall or become boundaryless. I also find it important in relationships to become more nuanced in one's perceptions. We tend to generalize what are partners do. For example we might think that our partners always neglect our needs, or never do the dishes. I also like to have partners have eye contact and notice what their nervous system does: can your heart stay open? What is it that is in the way of that? What is the hurt that you are carrying towards them?