My 5-MeO-DMT experience began when a friend introduced me to this powerful psychedelic as an enhancer to Buddhist Nature of Mind meditation. The substance reveals the nature of reality and the ability to rest in pure awareness.
Consequently, we bought vapes so that we could do trips on our own.
What the 5-MeO-DMT Experience Reveals
5-MeO is a synthetic compound based on the venom of a desert toad called Bufo Alvarius. It is sometimes called the god molecule, since it gets you into a non-dual state where everything becomes one. However, the trick is, we have parts that resist that, of course! A lot of our parts certainly hold on to our identity for example. Indeed, that's a big one that we build all our lives creating! We spent so much time putting energy into developing our identity. In fact, sometimes it feels like that’s all we do. And once we defined our identity, we have to send a lot of more energy protecting it. So much of it is bound in these games of figuring out who we are from the standpoint of identity.
This certainly came up for me during my last trip this morning. For instance, I had parts that were scared to take more puffs. I wasn’t sure if I could let myself go into the space fully. I had set a timer for 35 mins. My plan was to take this journey for that amount of time, building the intensity by vaping a number of times, letting the intensity of the space build. It’s hard to describe. While it feels vast it also feels like letting oneself fall into a single point.
Working Through Fear in My 5-MeO-DMT Experience
So just like in IFS (Internal Family Systems), I can do some work on my parts resisting.
During this session, parts of me were scared to take more puffs. There was uncertainty about whether I could let myself go into the space fully. I set a timer for 35 minutes, with a plan to build intensity by vaping several times and letting the experience deepen. It is hard to describe — while it feels vast, it also feels like letting oneself fall into a single point.
Letting Go of Identity and Fear
There was a lot of kindness, too.It felt wonderful to feel the nervous system ease up. My consciousness, I realized, is not just tied to my body having a body is simply a fact, but not the main thing. Getting close to just hanging out in the universe felt natural, as though there really isn't anything to do to be awake. Most of the time, I don’t notice it, because I am busy planning my day, cooking supper or walking the dog etc. After all, those tasks require a doer and something to be done. As a result, there is duality. And from that duality comes a need for identity, and now we are full circle.
Most of the time I think I am Maya, and my experience is based on what I do in my life. In contrast, during my trip, consciousness felt all around me and I realized I am part of it, allowing me to let go of that small feeling of being separate. Although this brought up fear, I know it has to be done eventually by all of us. Nevertheless, my ambitious parts wanted it done right there and then!
However, that would be a tremendous task! Just let go of everything! What if all kinds of stuff will suddenly flood through me, because I have given up all blinders and ways to limit what comes in?
Integrating the Experience
Ultimately, I know there is further to go. The glimpses I got from a 15 min session were tremendous. To integrate the experience, when I feel triggered into not feeling perfect, I remind myself that this life is just a tiny part of consciousness. There is so much more to what we are seeing while clinging to ego! Therefore, 5-MeO is a very worthy guide in showing me what I need to let go off, to be rewarded with complete oneness.
In conclusion, dear 5-MeO teacher. Me and my parts will be back!